"Evil is charming and beautiful. It makes you doubt yourself. It asks for one small compromise after another while it whittles you down. And it functions best when no one believes in it." - Joan of Arcadia
...i have not been writing about it, not been believing in it, not wanting to admit it. then i read this quote and i realized that if i can't believe in the evil i struggle with, it wins. for the first time in my life i am struggling with depression. it is subtle and then at times obvious. i am smiling at my children and screaming on the inside. my mind is tired. it has made me doubt myself. i am writing this because i choose to overcome this evil within me.
several things have helped to keep me sane~ my husband who holds me, loves me and is my helper when i just can't do anymore, my Father who speaks to me quietly and won't let me fall, my friends who get me out of the house, my children who bring me deep immeasurable joy and tell me everyday, "mom, i love you SO much!"
we have been in town almost every day for the past 5 months, trying to sell our house. last week we went to Oceanside to get away for a few days, the ocean air was good for me. i took this picture standing on the front porch of my in-law's beach house ~ i am convinced the Father paints such beautiful sunsets so that we might see the silver lining even in the darkest days here on earth.
posted by Tera @ 10:00 PM
