thanksgiving...my mom, dad, sisters, brothers-in-law and all of my mom's grandchildren had a celebration feast together last sunday. it was nice to all be together. my mom started chemotherapy on monday and we are praying that it strengthens her lungs quickly as she has started to experience more pain and anxiety. thanksgiving is a time to reflect and this year i am thankful for every hour and every day that i have with my mom. she has made a profound and lasting impression on my life and that of my husband and children---and not every woman can say that about her mother! i pray that God would give her a peace that she has never experienced, if just for one day on this earth, this thanksgiving.
*this picture of my mom was taken 3 months ago at ella's 2nd birthday party*
"life after cancer"my life has been on hold for the past several days as we all were waiting for tests, hearing news, praying to God for strength and healing, watching my mom struggle for each breath, watching my dad hurting inside not knowing how to save his high school sweetheart, tears were shed, countless hours spent on the phone to family and friends, and sleepless nights at the hospital. five short days after we found out my mom had cancer in her lungs, she ended up in the emergency room too weak to stand on her own and her blood pressure was dangerously high. day six: she began breathing treatments which are helping to keep her airways clear, my sister flew in from atlanta, mom had a brain MRI and a bone scan - both negative for cancer. day seven: she had a PET scan. day eight: the results to the PET scan were devastating, cancer was found in her colon, abdomen, liver, bladder, kidneys, both lungs, bronchial airways, exoskeleton (back), etc. the diagnosis was stage IV colon cancer that had metastasized throughout her body. the doctors inform myself and my two sisters that we, along with our children, are greatly at risk for colon cancer (now colon cancer is on both sides of our family tree & at young ages) and tells us what tests we should have and at what age. day nine: a colonoscopy was done and we are told that surgery is needed to take out a three inch leision of cancer. after getting different doctors opinions, my parents decide that surgery is too risky at this time because the cancer is surrounding her airways. the treatment plan is to start chemotherapy this week and hope that it will stop the growth of cancer and relieve her symptoms so that surgery will be an option two months from now. we took her home that afternoon will a huge list of medications and she rests peacefully in her own bed.
thank you to all my friends, near and far, for the prayers to our Father on our behalf and for letting me talk and cry for hours.
note: i realize this appears more as a medical log than a journal entry and although i have deep thoughts and emotions regarding my mom and other things in life - i needed to record last week's events in this way in order to sort out my thoughts.
all dressed up and no place to go...last night i put on a new fall skirt and left the house with my husband for dinner & a movie. my dad called to say that he and my mom were driving up to prescott tonight. i just knew it was bad news since it was being delievered in person. i got off my cell phone just as the waitress asked if we were ready to order, and i began to sob. my mom had a difficult time as she shared with all three of her daughters and then her grandchildren that the mass in her right lung is a malignant tumor. CANCER: (clay's definition) isn't that pretty much the worst thing that could ever happen in your body? sadly i had to say that it is the worst thing that nana could have in her lungs, but we are going to try to find the medicine she needs to get rid of what is making her sick. my mind is all over the place--i am scared for what is to come, angry at every person who has ever smoked a cigarette (mom has NEVER-but the dr says the tumor looks like a smoker's), doing the "what if" scenrio, living my aunt and stacey's dad's lung cancer struggle and ultimately deaths all over again. my mom, as mother's do, is more worried about her children more than what lies ahead for her. it is a good thing that she raised three strong girls that understand how very much we are loved by our mother and our heavenly Father.
