Tuesday, August 10, 2004

ladies night out
...this evening i had the privilege of dining with 10 beautiful ladies. sorry tommy, i forgot to invite you, but we decided that if you are willing to dress up like a woman, you are welcome anytime! we sat in the Pope Room (a big round table with great acoustics) at Buca Di Peppo, laughed, ate, told stories, drank, learned from each other and about each other for over 3 hours. we are all so different: some pregnant, some not; some older, some younger; some single, some married, some shy, some outspoken; some church attenders, some not. and yet we are all the same because we love and believe in the living God. i learned new things about each person at the table tonight; fears, funny stories about our children, some things that are better left in the Pope Room (ex. how much weight we all gained during our pregnancies!), pasts & common new found threads among us and then i did it again...

if you didn't know me well, you might think i was rude, obnoxious & maybe even just nosy because lately i've been just blurting out tough questions, having no fear of what the answer might be. tonight i asked an innocent question, "why?" because i really wanted to know more, looking back i usually would have just let it go and wondered why later and not have risked getting any deeper with that person. at first i think i made this person a little uncomfortable but then she answered--and sadly the answer, although really honest, was not what i wanted to hear--she was not feeling connected in this community we call "Apex". reflecting on the past few times this has happen to me--i have come to realize that i am so tired of wanting to know the people in my community deeper and i am just doing it--i'm being brutally honest and expecting that of the people i'm in conversations with. i don't know if all this is making any sense (i had wine tonight) but i believe that we are all at a critical point in this journey together and we have to make a choice to risk a little and take our relationships to the next level--really share life together, our struggles, pains, happiness--don't be afraid to expose yourself or to ask for help and depend on the people who love you.

thanks to all of you for sharing your life with me~what should we do next time?

posted by Tera @ 1:02 AM Comments: 2

Sunday, August 08, 2004

a restful weekend
...after a slow paced weekend i think we are back to normal. my children have caught up on some much needed rest and have resumed pretending to wrestle & laughing together--at least for the time being! ella, effortlessly, gave up her pacifier this weekend-YEAH!
bargain of the day: swimsuit for daughter $1.49
quote of the day: "bloody hell" - i have to admit that it was clay, and the british accent was great!
moment of the day: ella laughing out loud at clay pretending to drop a ball, over & over & over again, that it was contagious!

posted by Tera @ 11:29 PM Comments: 0

Friday, August 06, 2004

highs

*ate a warm krispy kreme donut

*spent time with my friend michelle-she kept my spirits high today!

*my eleven month old dancing to the hokey pokey-so cute!

*to fix the air conditioning in my truck only cost $80 and i still have $90.27 left in my checking acct!

*my husband called me from work just to say, "i love you"

lows

*i woke my boys up early for the 5th day in a row only to miss their last swim lesson because the air conditioning in our truck went out and this takes priority when driving around with 3 kids in 100 degree+ heat!

*i am deeply hurting for some friends & the rest of my problems feel trivial

*my boys have progressed past the playful wrestling stage to the let's beat the shit out of each other stage-gene warned me that this would happen!

*i have $90.27 in my checking account and a pile of bills to be paid sitting in front of me-so i decided to blog instead!

posted by Tera @ 3:04 PM Comments: 1

Wednesday, August 04, 2004

my 12 favorite people

...have you ever been in a room with 12 other people--shared your faults with them, felt encouraged by their words, disagreed, had no concern for who the person next to you will vote for or how much $$ they make, ate & drank together, laughed, cried, hit someone & said your "sorry", imagined, created--and felt the most perfect love possible?? tonight we spent time around my square table sharing our lives and we had the crazy notion to call it "church"--never judging but sharing with uncensored honesty--it was holy and perfect love.

  1. ella: her sweet chubby smile reminds me that my Father finds joy in me
  2. sebastian: he loves each person in the room without reserve--he inspires me to love others
  3. victoria: she puts everyone's needs before her own--she is selfless and pure
  4. damon: his wild side makes me want to be more childlike--have more fun!
  5. clay: he brings us laughter every day & his words will lift your spirit
  6. serenity: the oldest of all the children, she is gentle, encouraging, imaginative & patient!
  7. stacey: her wisdom is beauty, i imagine Jesus loving the children around him so intensely like stacey does
  8. adam: he has a gift to make everyone feel special & unique--i can take on the world with a little encouragement from him
  9. michelle: her strong faith encourages me in this journey to know my Father, she uplifts my soul
  10. gene: his contentment & quiet spirit make me slow down and not take anything for granted
  11. lisa: she never lets me take on too much, if she senses a need she is there to help--she is a true friend
  12. andrew: he is so brutally honest about his struggles and deeply passionate when learning new things about the Father-he encourages me to grow in knowledge and never fear failure

this is my spiritual family--i am a better person because of each of them and yet not afraid to fail, i feel so completely loved by my Father in their presence- i love you all!

posted by Tera @ 1:02 AM Comments: 1

Monday, August 02, 2004

my dream gathering
...last night apexers came together to celebrate. it was a great party. i talked to people i have not seen in over a month. i saw smiles and heard worship, i sensed depression, exhaustion & pain. i long for a time when we can get together and know we are loved regardless of our differences and sins. i want to share more of my self with my whole church family. i guess what i'm trying to say is that because i have a family (house church) that knows me--my strengths, weaknesses, up & downs, & loves me still--it is really disheartening to be in a room with that many christians and know that most of us are putting up the "church" front that we are ok. how can we really be the church to each other if we are not asking for help, admitting our sins, sharing our concerns & struggles instead of hiding our pain. this is my dream, maybe it will only ever happen at a house church level, but allow me to dream big!

posted by Tera @ 4:15 PM Comments: 1